CHAT SESSION 1 with Karen Young
Topic-CLINICAL DEPRESSION
1pm Monday 1st May 2023 https://rppfm.com.au
Catch up and listen to our chat session https://megaphone.link/LCRUI8626876549
‘The Daily Mirror’ in the month of May welcomes some wonderful people who I have met in my new community who also reside on the Mornington Peninsula.
Life is not a direct journey. There are many twists and turns along the way and Karen has learnt to embrace those twists and turns and make the most of them. Even the truly challenging ones.
Karen was born in Melbourne and moved to Queensland at thirty with her then-husband. She loved living up north and following her divorce, created a happy, fulfilling life for herself. She had a beautiful network of friends, a number of lovely homes (life moved her around quite a bit!) and jobs (paid and volunteer) working in the not-for-profit sector that nurtured her soul. After not knowing what she wanted to do with her career, and having no formal qualifications behind her, in her early thirties, Karen was offered a job at the Starlight Children’s Foundation in Brisbane. It was her dream job (and remains her favourite job ever) and put her firmly on the path she was meant to be on. She had found where she belonged – working with people who were as passionate and dedicated as she was about supporting vulnerable people.
Karen spent the next fifteen years working with volunteers and families at Starlight, a large private hospital and finally settling in at The Smith Family, where she worked for seven years. She was grateful for the opportunities she’d had to learn and grow and gave each job everything she had. She worked hard because she loved what she was doing. And was grateful she got to do it.
But somewhere along the line, she lost her way. It was a twist she didn’t see coming. In July 2016, Karen was diagnosed with clinical depression. It would prove to be the biggest challenge of her life but would eventually lead her to the place that has most felt like home and where she has the strongest sense of belonging, making it a worthwhile journey to take.
The first few months of 2016 were stressful. Karen was running an online mentoring program for high school students and the workload was immense. She wanted the program to be a success and gave it her all. But she gave too much. At the same time, Karen was going through a drawn-out process of selling a house and buying a little unit by the sea in Coolum, where she was planning to move to.
These stressful events collided. Karen knew something was terribly wrong with her but she didn’t want to admit it. Because she knew once she admitted there was a problem, she would need to act. And when you’re in survival mode – just trying to get through each hour of each day without falling apart – you don’t have the energy or headspace to acknowledge what’s wrong. Even though it’s what you need to do, you can’t. It’s just too big and scary and something else to add to your ‘to do list’. It’s easy for Karen to look back now and see she should have sought help earlier, but it doesn’t work that way when you’re in the middle of it. Sometimes you crash and burn and support is forced upon you. And letting depression go undiagnosed and unsupported, makes the situation worse. You fall further down the hole you can’t ever imagine climbing out of. It’s an incredibly dark place to be.
Sitting with her doctor and acknowledging she wasn’t okay, was the first step Karen took. Her doctor immediately gave her two weeks off on sick leave and Karen insisted on going into work the next day to ‘tidy things up’. Acknowledging she had a problem hadn’t lessened her desire to do a good job. She didn’t want to let her team down. Karen hadn’t yet learnt to let go of things she needed to let go of.
On day two of her sick leave, Karen lay on the couch counting on her fingers how many days she had left in which ‘to fix herself’ before having to go back to work. As though a couple of weeks off was going to erase everything that had come before. That two weeks turned into six weeks of sick leave. Karen returned to her job on a return-to-work plan created by her supportive manager, but after a few weeks, she realised she was no longer capable of doing the job she loved.
It was a huge decision and one that broke her heart, but she knew she needed to resign and take time out to truly heal. If she didn’t do that, she knew she’d probably never work again. And it wasn’t just about work. Clinical depression impacts on every single aspect of your life and it’s not gentle or kind. Karen had always been a positive, funny and creative person and she lost all of that - depression stripped it from her. She felt as though she’d strayed from her true self and didn’t know how to make her way back to her.
Time, support (from friends and medical professionals) and medication, were the elements she needed to prioritise in order to get through it. Karen went to the bank and borrowed a year’s salary on top of her mortgage, gave two months-notice at work and took a year off. It made no sense financially, but it turned out to be the best decision she would ever make.
It was a long journey into the unknown and just before she left work, her father passed away suddenly, which added a painful layer of grief to what she was already dealing with. It took a long time, but Karen came through the other side and slowly rebuilt the joy-filled life she has now.
After living in Queensland for nineteen years, Karen moved back to Melbourne (something she thought she’d never ever do – a lesson to never say never!) at the end of 2017. She lived in the northern suburbs for a few years and then moved to the Mornington Peninsula in 2021. This is home. Karen’s forever home. It’s where she’s built a beautiful life. She joined the Peninsula Writers’ Club and is now the Secretary, which she loves as it puts her nerdy skills to work in a way that’s balanced and enjoyable. She’s made close friendships with other writers in the club. She’s been writing her first novel for the last couple of years and hopes to have it finished by the end of 2023. She has a casual job – her first retail job! – and is loving it. And she’s planning on buying a little home to call her own in this community she loves and feels a strong sense of belonging to.
Karen openly talks about her experience with clinical depression. Part of the healing for her, was to be part of the conversation around mental health. Talking about it gives other people permission to step into that safe space. To take those first vulnerable steps and reach out for help. Discussing our mental health helps normalise it for everyone. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not something to hide. All of us go through mental health challenges and the pandemic highlighted that. People who had never sought support were reaching out to family, friends, mental health professionals and helplines, for the very first time.
Karen strongly believes we need to reach out to each other. It’s impossible to be okay all the time. And that’s totally okay.
My hope is that when you’re looking at yourself in the ‘The Daily Mirror’
YOU SMILE
EMBRACE BEING YOU
AND FIND 10 MINUTES IN YOUR DAY TO NOURISH YOUR SOUL!
To get in touch with Cathy email smileinthedailymirror@gmail.com
'The Daily Mirror' acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Custodians of the land and acknowledges and pays respect to their Elders, past and present.
In Karens words
"2192/10000 Happy Days - 01-05-2023, I was interviewed on our local radio stationhttps://rppfm.com.au/ about my experience with clinical depression, by my beautiful friend Cathy. I’m passionate about being part of the conversation around mental health, as it reminds people they’re not alone, and it invites them to talk about any challenges they might be having. So I was thrilled when Cathy asked if she could interview me. What an honour. And what a wonderful experience. I hope at least one person listening feels a little less alone xx 'The Daily Mirror' With Cathy"